Returning to work after children: twelve views from our experts
From flexible working to knowing your rights, we round up some real life advice on successfully heading back to work after having a family
Returning to work after having a family can be daunting.
Jill Fernandez is a working mother of two children aged 14 and 11. She works in a part time role that fits around her family life.
Deciding on the right time to return: In my experience, it's best not to wait for that mythical perfect time to return to work. Rather like having a baby in the first place, there's never a 'right' time to go back. I would advise anyone contemplating their return, to think about it carefully and when it feels 80% right then you should just go for it.
Diana Norris is a career coach for Women Like Us. Following the birth of her two children, Diana decided to change career from the financial services and retrained as a career coach.
Find the 'working you' again: Even a few months out of the workplace can leave you fearing that all your skills and experience have deserted you – but those fears are ungrounded. We have worked with thousands of women and all of them have found they are still the competent career women they were when they left for a world of baby grows and lack of sleep. Dig out your old appraisal forms, call ex-colleagues or invite your old boss out for a drink. You need to re-connect with the working you and the people who valued what you did in the workplace.
Julia Yates has worked in the world of careers for 15 years as coach, writer, trainer and service director. She now works as a senior lecturer in the School of Psychology at the University of East London.
Acknowledge your new skills: Being at home with kids develops your people skills, your creative problem solving, your ability to multi-task, and your time management like no job I've ever had. These skills are not really understood or acknowledged in the workplace, so you wouldn't tend to get the respect and credibility that you deserve if you cited them at interview or on your CV; but you should approach every job with your head held high.
Rachael Saunders is head of communications for Opportunity Now, the gender campaign from Business in the Community working to accelerate the pace of change for women in the workplace.
Articulate your new skills: It's really important to think from the employer's perspective when considering how to articulate that your skills developed as a mother are directly applicable to work. For example, you could say you have improved insights into potential clients because you've been a more active user of public services. Remember, you also have all the skills from the rest of your working life and education. Describing how you have kept up to speed with issues in your industry will help.
Emma Stewart is co-founder of the social enterprise Women Like Us. A mother of two young children, she started Women Like Us after meeting huge numbers of other mothers at the school gates, who wanted to work but faced multiple barriers.
Don't rule out applying for full-time positions: Apply for full-time as well as part-time positions, as these roles are often open to negotiation on flexible hours. It's best to start out positioning your skills and experience and convincing them that you are right for the job. After this, you will then be in a far stronger position to negotiate flexibility.
Inger Christensen is a career coach for Women Like Us, specialising in helping women with children find part-time work.
Try different job-hunting approaches: Don't job hunt purely online. Use different methods such as word of mouth, keeping in touch with old colleagues and managers, and contacting organisations where your skills and background is relevant on a speculative basis. Most importantly, keep at it.
Don't be worried about asking for flexible work: Not everyone seeking flexible work is a mum – there are dads, retired individuals and city high flyers who want to work in a different way. Recent research indicated that two thirds of men consider flexible work an important factor when looking for a new job. Increasing numbers of innovative employers are changing their approach to finding new talent, and are focusing more on output achieved, than time put in getting there.
Sarah-Jane Butler is the co-founder of Parental Choice, which provides information and advice on flexible working and childcare.
Figure out the right working pattern: You have to think outside of the box. Flexible working does not just mean part-time work; it can be so much more than that. For example:
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Compressed hours so five days in four
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Delayed start or finish to allow you to pick up or drop off your children from school during term time
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Project working only so you work full-time for a project and then take time off in lieu
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Working from home
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Job shares
The list goes on. The key is to get the right combination of childcare and again here, the combinations can go on. It's not just the case of having a nanny which can be cost-prohibitive or a nursery which can be time-prohibitive. You can combine the two. Each individual is different and it's a matter of working with employers and childcare providers to get the right fit.
Fiona Severs is director of Lexington Gray, a legal recruitment consultancy that offers lawyers flexible and part-time roles to fit in with their other priorities.
Make sure flexibility works both ways: Be brave and ask for the flexibility that you need and make sure that it works both ways. Be prepared to give something more back to your employer when you can, and make sure you make a good business case for working flexibly.
Rosalind Bragg is director of Maternity Action, a national charity providing information and advice to pregnant women, new mothers and their partners on rights at work and maternity benefits.
Know your rights: A lot of employers don't know what they can and can't do when it comes to staff who are pregnant or on maternity leave. The women we talk to on our advice line often print out one of our information sheets and take it with them when they speak to their employer. That way, everyone is on the same page about the legals, and it can be a lot easier to sort out any problems that may come up.
Astrid VanWaveren has a background in marketing and research and is part of the experienced team at Talking Talent, a coaching consultancy that helps women achieve their highest potential.
Questions to keep in mind throughout your job hunt:
- What are the workplaces like that you're applying to – what is the culture around working parents?
- How might this influence the experience of having another child while working there?
- If you really want a job where the culture or perceptions around working parents isn't ideal, how can you demonstrate your commitment and help change some of those attitudes? What are you willing to compromise on?
Liz Morris is director of consultancy and training at Working Families.
You're not alone: It's important to keep in mind that being a parent is a fact of life for more than 80% of employees – men and women.
If you have a personal story or suggestion, please share it with the LifeBuddy Community on Facebook or with us hi@lifebuddy.co.uk.
This article by Hannah Gould first appeared in The Guardian Careers section.
If you have a personal story or suggestion, please share it with the LifeBuddy Community on Facebook or here on the website by emailing us at hi@lifebuddy.co.uk.